In a Relationship: Edric Mendoza’s Three Tips for Single Men

Any normal man would not give up the woman he loves. The weird man Edric did. But thinking it over, I was wrong. He did not give up – instead, he entrusted the love of his life to God.

But before that, let me introduce him first in case you do not know him yet.

Edric Mendoza is the host of ANC’s On The Money where he interviews and engages subject matter experts on topics of personal finance. He is also the President of TMA Homeschool where he leads a team of educators, homeschool veterans, and professionals in equipping parents to successfully teach their children at home. While his LinkedIn profile does not say this, I’d like believe that he is a loving husband to his wife and a great father to his children.

I didn’t know what I did with my friend Google because after watching an episode of On The Money on YouTube, I stumbled upon an article about Edric Mendoza’s love life. What got my attention was the part that talked about their break up, “To this couple purity is being able to say to God that their relationship was honoring Him and since both of them didn’t feel that anymore, they decided to have a, what they call, purposeful break up. (The Love Story of Edric and Joy Mendoza by Rose Fres Fausto, http://www.philstar.com/health-and-family)

Joy and Edric Mendoza
Joy and Edric Mendoza*

Imagine, they met each other in their ways of connecting with God. That’s where they started. And now, they are breaking up because of their way of connecting with God. Isn’t that odd?

I thought that must be so hard.

And it’s just amazing that his ex-girlfriend Joy (now his wife) concurred on such break up, as they say purposeful break up. She said, in the same article, “…we just felt that if we really wanted to honor God and wanted Him to bless our relationship, then it might be best to take a pause and really pray about it. It was possible that we wanted to get married just because we were emotionally involved and not necessarily obeying the will of God.”

I’d say that this must have been a great sacrifice for both of them. But I’d also would like to conclude that what they did paid off immensely. At a glance, you might think that God separated them but the opposite happened. In their way of surrendering, God blessed their relationship to their wedding day and to their marriage life today and the days to come.

Edric and his family*
Edric and his family*

Here is what I think: They agreed on surrendering their relationship to God and they let Him rule over them. And the return was and is something beyond measure.

This is something, we young men and women, should learn and put to life: to act on our love life but also to entrust it all to God, even when you feel not doing it. After all, it is not actually giving up but entrusting into the all-knowing and loving God.

Here’s my belief: God wants us to be happy. He wants man (and woman) to be happy. And we can see that in the very first story of man – the story of creation. So while we take the leap into a wonderful man-woman relationship, it is also important to surrender to His will and in His time. It is making your move but also letting God. It is like a sweet irony of love life. As I once described in my message to one of our team members at work who got married a week ago, “The time has come for you – the man – for your joyful surrender and selfless conquest to the woman you love. Those descriptions sound conflicting but according to my wise married friends, that’s what marriage is – thorns and petals are there, but the scent of the rose conquers them all.” (Imagine, a single man giving these words to an about-to-be-married man. Haha) While I don’t have the civil status to formally certify such message, my belief firmed up those words.

But before jumping into marriage, the man (or woman) in his (or her) singleness should be complete with the grace and love of God. So that when he (or she) enters into the In a Relationship status, he (or she) won’t be a sucking vampire to his (or her) supposed lover.

This seems so heavy, huh? Perhaps, it is and the imperfect men (and women) that we are, we may not be able to complete such into perfection. But the call is to go for it anyway. On the other hand, before I delve into vagueness of my terrific theories, let me offer some specifics – simple tips to connect the gap from Single to In a Relationship.

Having been inspired by his love story, I asked Edric Mendoza about this:

What are your top three tips to single young men discerning to jump into courtship or into a relationship?

He was so kind and generous to give a bit of his time to answer this question from and for the young minds. Here’s his top three tips for single men:

1. Make a Needs & Wants List.
Make sure you determine what you cannot do without in a spouse, which would and should include that they are a Christian (i.e. if you are a Christian). Then determine what you would like to have, like certain height, hair color, etc. The key is to know clearly the difference between Need and Want. This list will be a guide as you go into the courtship to know whether that person is indeed the spouse God has meant for you.

2. Get to know how the person in their “natural” state.
Ergo, when they are around their parents, siblings, co-workers, and other friends. See what sort of things they truly value, and how they treat the opposite sex (i.e. other guys), especially their father and brothers (if any). This will be indicative of how they may treat you some day. Try and do this even before you pursue courtship.

3. Prepare yourself.
There are three big Ms in a man’s life that he needs to answer. Who is his Master? What is his Mission? Finally, who is his Mate? It must be answered in that order. So, even before pursuing a Mate, you must be clear on your Master (who or what will you serve for the rest of your life), and Mission (what will you do to follow your Master). For example, if your Master is money then your Mission will be to make as much as possible. If your Master is Lebron James or Michael Jordan, then your Mission will be to practice and train and play like they do/did.

“These are solid tips,” I told him and knowing that he is also a preacher in his church, I said, “Thank you, Bro. Edric.”

My fellow single men: there are a lot more to know before getting into a relationship. And these three tips from Bro. Edric can fuel us up and prepare for a good start.

Grasp these words and be guided as you take the plunge.

Live your life, young mind!

Chris Dao-anis

[*Photos courtesy of Edric Mendoza’s FB account.]

PS: Let me know your thoughts or questions – drop a comment below. Or share these three tips to a friend and be of help.

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